Culture and Psychology

I want to start off by addressing the scenario that Brother Ivers mentions in this lecture: "A man and his son are in a serious car accident. The father is killed, and the son is rushed to the emergency room. Upon arrival, the attending doctor looks at the child and gasps, “This child is my son!” Who's the doctor?" I asked my oldest son, who is almost 18, and my husband this and they both were stumped and gave answers that still involved a man like Godfather or Heavenly Father.  I was actually a bit surprised that neither of them thought of the mother. I do feel that our society and culture have improved in regard to certain stereotypes or biases, like a woman being just as successful as a man in the workplace but obviously, using my own family as an example, there is still room for progress.

I thought about the first question, "Are there any elements in your home culture that are irrationally causing you to have low self-esteem?  If so, what are they and how would you like to change them?"
One of the biggest things that I thought of after reading this question involves body image.  We live in a time where there is so much sexism in magazines and certain body images that go along with that, being skinny or super fit.  There is a lot of pressure in the American culture to be thin, fit, have no cellulite, etc.  Men shame women, women shame women.  It is coming in every direction. 

There are so many cultures that find women beautiful for different reasons.  For example, long stretched-out earlobes in parts of Africa from wearing heavy jewelry, Tattoos on a woman in the Maori culture, pale skin in Asia, or bigger women in the south pacific.  I know many women who struggle with their self-esteem because they do not fit the body type that is plastered on billboards and in magazines of what the ideal woman should look like in America. 

I would like to see a change of a more supportive environment towards women and their bodies.  There has been an increase in models who are a little bigger which I think is a healthy approach.  We need to become a society that supports health and wellness and that comes with all shapes and sizes.  We need to encourage confidence and acceptance of our changing bodies do to age, or having children or maybe even due to sickness.  The more that this is talked about, the more I think our society will accept it.

Difference in Manners

I had a similar experience as the one shared in this reading about the teacher being kept up all night in Mexico because the neighbors were playing loud music.  When we first moved to the Texas/Mexico border, we had just traveled a long distance and were so tired on the first night after a long day of unpacking.  Across the street, the Mexican family had a huge party outside and they eventually played a movie using the side of their house as the screen.  This went from a group of people being loud, playing loud music and laughter to a movie being blasted.  I just wanted to sleep and felt really annoyed.

As time went on and I became more aware and comfortable with the Mexican culture, I started to embrace those moments differently.  This particular family wasn't being rude, they simply were having a great time with loved ones and friends and were having an activity that was connecting all of them.  Our house had a small balcony on the upper floor that faced this house.  We started to embrace these moments and would curl up on chairs and sleeping bags on the balcony and would watch the movie that was being projected on the side of their house across the street.

When my husband and I only had two children, we spent a summer in England.  We became friends with this family and went out to eat.  This family consisted of a man from England and his wife from Asia.  One particular night we went to a Chinese restaurant.  We did not use chopsticks to eat, we just used a fork.  Though the adults in the other family were fine, their young daughter kept staring at us and eventually asked us why we were not using chopsticks.  I felt a little embarrassed but her parents made it into a teaching moment for their daughter about cultural differences.  They were very respectful to us as they taught their daughter about some differences.  I was grateful at their gentleness with handling this.

With all manners, I don't think people mean to offend if they do something that is different than what we know.  I recently read about a person from Asia slurping their noodles at a restaurant in America.  We find that to be a display of terrible manners but for Asians, it is a sign that they are really enjoying their food.  So when we encounter situations like the ones I have mentioned, I think that it is very important to give the benefit of doubt to the person.  Throughout all of the videos we watch from Brother Ivers, he mentions over and over again that we need to pay attention to what is going on around us so that we will know what is considered good or bad manners.

Cross-Cultural Students in the Classroom

Having cross-cultural students in a classroom can be very rewarding as students learn from each other and about each other but it can also lead to a lot of misconceptions due to a lack of understanding in relation to varying cultures.  It makes me think about a simple analogy of different kids being raised within different households and how anything different can cause a "shock" factor to a child.

We know a family who does a lot of bantering back and forth with each other.  They really dig at each other with insults and a lot of sarcasm.  When I first met this family, I would literally turn my head from one person to another trying to read their facial expressions as they were being insulted or joked on only to find a smile or laughter.  I felt shocked at this behavior.  Within my family, my children get hurt by any use of sarcasm or joking.  There is nothing about this behavior that they enjoy.  Being around this other family was very taxing on us because it is quite a different lifestyle than ours.

So with this example, there are a few takeaways for me.  Initially, I was offended by the way they treated each other and felt it was rude and distasteful.  However, getting to know this family better, I realized that this is their form of expression to show love.  They laugh and everyone is able to participate in the bantering.  Who am I to decide that the "Culture" within this family is wrong or disrespectful just because it is different than mine?  

The same thought process can exist in a classroom.  Again it all goes back to understanding your students and getting to know their culture and beliefs.  I think it is important for a teacher to be respectful to the students however, I think it is ok to educate students on what the teacher feels is acceptable and not acceptable in their classroom.  In the reading this week there were several references to things that Asians did not like about American students like eating in class, reading the paper, leaving early or showing up late.  This is where the teacher establishes what is expected in his/her classroom that all cross-cultural students need to abide by.  

Attributional Tendencies

Learning about attributional tendencies was very interesting.   These insights are important for a teacher to know about her students because it is an insight that can help the teacher understand the way her student is processing events and successes or failures in his/her academic setting.  When a teacher understands these things about their students, they can help the student react or process in a more "stable" fashion.  Sometimes it takes someone else to help us see the other perspective of a situation.

I learned that I am a very typical American in my attributional tendencies.  Understanding how other cultures tend to view success or failure could help us be more tolerant and accepting of a person.  For example, if someone is always blaming others for a certain outcome, we might not want to be around that person viewing them as negative but if we understand that is can be due to a cultural upbringing, we might be more tolerant.

I think that every culture can learn from other cultures.  As I have mentioned before, no one culture is right and understanding each other is a way to gain an appreciation of people around us.

Personal Space Differences

Personal Space differences in a TESOL classroom can prove challenging, especially if your classroom is made up of students from multiple countries.  Another challenge would be a teacher, who I would hope at this point in her career would understand differences, would need to be aware of the spacial differences to make sure students respect each other's space as well as her respecting the student's space. Success in a classroom would be the opportunity to learn from each other and about each other's cultures.  

I found this topic to be interesting.  I tend to be a "touchy" person and like to give hugs.  I have noticed that my ways were more accepted in the Mexican culture when I lived on the border.   When I moved to the New England area, the people were less "affectionate".  It was a hard transition for me to revert back to the non-hugging person.  I missed the hugs and kisses from my Mexican friends.  After a few years of living here, I have been able to give more of my closer friends hugs but it took a while of me observing and recognizing clues to know when I should hug and when I should not.  This applies too in a classroom.  We need to observe and pay attention to others around us so that we know how to respect their space.

I think when we take the time to understand another culture, be it spacial differences, languages, food, etc, we can make ourselves better because we have the opportunity to accept and be respectful.  No two people are the same and therefore no two cultures are the same or better from the other.  WE can learn from each other and utilize other traditional or cultural information to become a better person and a better society.

Individualism vs. Collectivism

I was intrigued to learn about the different cultures being individualistic or more collective.  I think understanding the two and how certain societies view being more individual or collective would be important in a classroom.  For example, if an American teacher goes into a classroom, in another country, with expectations for the students to be independent in their work, she might not have great results.  In America, we are taught to be independent at a young age but not all cultures and societies are that way.  This can be a hindrance in the classroom with being effective with the students.

If a teacher does not take the time to get to know her students and be open to their cultures, that can cause a lack of success for the student.  In order to create a positive learning environment, the teacher must be willing to learn about who she is teaching and be flexible and adaptable in her approach toward her students.

Differences in Emotional Expressivity

When I lived on the Texas/Mexico border in a Hispanic community, I fell in love with their expressiveness.  They are loving and affectionate people.  I can remember the first time I got kissed on the cheek, it took me by surprise but it is a tradition of expression that I fell in love with.

Fast forward to my move to the New England area...the people are different here.  I am originally from the south and there is a definite difference in culture.  I have been told that I have a strong personality.  That is not something I had while living in the south but acquired over time and many moves.  Now when I go back down south people will tell me that I can be intense.  However, moving to the New England area, I find the people intense.  It took me a while to realize that they are not being rude, just straight forward.  In the south, we tend to be more passive to avoid contention.

When dealing with a classroom full of diversity, emotional expressivity is one of the many reasons why it is important to get to know your students.  As you get to know them, you can decipher without being offended.  This is not only applicable to the teacher but the students also need to learn about fellow classmates so that they can accept differences of expression without being offended.

I think that there was some great advice in the video for people who like to travel.  We were counselled to look around at what people are doing when in another country, to see what is acceptable behaviour before just doing what we think we can.  I like to travel so I thought this was a good piece of sound advice.

Cultural Miscommunication

I found this reading to be very interesting.  There is so much to learn about cultures, even in the delivery of language. 

I can remember being in the MTC with a sister who was from England.  She informed all of us that the word "Bloody" was a bad word.  Of course, the Elders from the states went on to use that word in every possible sentence, to tease her, because to them it wasn't a bad word.  She took it in the good fun it was meant to be taken in but as we read, language can lead to a lot of miscommunication, hurt feelings, assaults, etc.

In the lecture, Brother Ivers mentions that Americans are very direct when speaking and other cultures are offended by this.  I have seen this in my own life.  First of all, I have a pretty strong personality and secondly, I was raised by a Marine who taught me to just be strong and speak up.  When I lived in a predominantly Hispanic community I had several encounters where people would tell me that I was one of the most intense people that they had ever met.  I didn't quite understand because I felt that I was just an honest and straight forward person.  Now, years later, I feel like this article shed some light as to why some might have felt that way.  I did not mean to be intense, I just had a lot of respect for the people and felt like they deserved to have my most authentic self.

I think cultural miscommunication might be a bit more tricky to learn about versus something that might be a bit more obvious like table manners.  Never the less, if people are immersed in or around another culture, they need to take the time to learn these little details about the culture too.

Cultural Differences Concerning Time

Learning about monochronic and polychronic differences were fascinating.  I never really thought about that element of cultural differences before but I can definitely see it.

We lived on the Texas/Mexico border for 9 years in a community that was predominantly Mexican.  The examples that Dr. Ivers gave about polychronic societies choosing family and friends and being more relaxed with their schedule is spot on.  One specific example he gave about missionaries being stood up was an occurrence that I am very familiar with as it happened often when I would go out with the missionaries.

The interesting thing that I have noticed, which now I understand a little more because of what I learned from this lesson, is that though America, in general, is monochronic, I think the effects of living on the border and being immersed in that culture has affected my oldest son who is in high school.  One example of this is he will double, sometimes triple, book his schedule and then mom has to come to the rescue to rearrange everything so it works.

When dealing with these differences in a classroom, I think that it is important to educate and teach the students what is expected of them, regardless of how things have been done in their life up to that point.  Having conversations with parents will be necessary too so that they understand the expectations of the teacher.  At the same time, while a student is transitioning from polychronic to monochronic, the teacher needs to be patient and encouraging with the student. 

Cultural Paradigms

There were several things that really stood out to me while watching the videos, "Cultural Clashes in Defining Beauty" and "Cultural Differences, National Geographic".  I wasn't really shocked by any of them but rather intrigued by feelings of those that have experienced the negative effects of cultural differences.

Delali, for example, had such a negative experience growing up with her self-image, all because her culture wouldn't accept her for who she was.  I wholeheartedly agree with her that we as a society need to be mindful of those around us.  This mindfulness will help us generate positive feedback so that we can embrace someone for who they are and build them up as children of God, rather than suppose the way they should be, all because of the societal pressures around us.

In the other video, I was sad to think of these men coming to America only to find us unfriendly and unapproachable.  One man even said, "It's a great shame, actually."  I have visited several countries and overall I would say that the people I met were approachable.  They gave off the vibe that they were very proud of their heritage and country.  I have also moved several times in my life here in the states and can attest to several places not being very "warm" and inviting".  We use to live in the south.  The south has a reputation for being friendly, which is quite the contrast of the New England area where I currently live.  When I moved here, I felt the lack of approachability to people.  We as an American society need to be better at welcoming others and having conversations with others, instead of staying in a comfort zone of our circle.

The young girls in the video, who were talking to the man from Sudan, set a great example of how adults should be.  Be friendly, take time to learn about other people and other cultures, let people be themselves and appreciate their differences from you and be willing to see them for who they are.

I think, not only in a classroom but in life, we all need to make the effort to understand one another.  I can remember a time when I was a Young Woman's president, there was a non-verbal down syndrome young woman in the group.  No one sat by her or talked to her.  I was sad by this and ask the Lord what I could do to help this young woman.  The outcome was asking the mother to spend a whole Sunday lesson teaching us about down syndrome and about her daughter.  From that Sunday on, the young women embraced the girl with DS and she never sat by herself again.  They hugged her, laughed with her when she was silly, etc.  A little bit of effort to get to know someone and embrace and grow from our differences can go a long way in acceptance and love towards others.