Difference in Manners

I had a similar experience as the one shared in this reading about the teacher being kept up all night in Mexico because the neighbors were playing loud music.  When we first moved to the Texas/Mexico border, we had just traveled a long distance and were so tired on the first night after a long day of unpacking.  Across the street, the Mexican family had a huge party outside and they eventually played a movie using the side of their house as the screen.  This went from a group of people being loud, playing loud music and laughter to a movie being blasted.  I just wanted to sleep and felt really annoyed.

As time went on and I became more aware and comfortable with the Mexican culture, I started to embrace those moments differently.  This particular family wasn't being rude, they simply were having a great time with loved ones and friends and were having an activity that was connecting all of them.  Our house had a small balcony on the upper floor that faced this house.  We started to embrace these moments and would curl up on chairs and sleeping bags on the balcony and would watch the movie that was being projected on the side of their house across the street.

When my husband and I only had two children, we spent a summer in England.  We became friends with this family and went out to eat.  This family consisted of a man from England and his wife from Asia.  One particular night we went to a Chinese restaurant.  We did not use chopsticks to eat, we just used a fork.  Though the adults in the other family were fine, their young daughter kept staring at us and eventually asked us why we were not using chopsticks.  I felt a little embarrassed but her parents made it into a teaching moment for their daughter about cultural differences.  They were very respectful to us as they taught their daughter about some differences.  I was grateful at their gentleness with handling this.

With all manners, I don't think people mean to offend if they do something that is different than what we know.  I recently read about a person from Asia slurping their noodles at a restaurant in America.  We find that to be a display of terrible manners but for Asians, it is a sign that they are really enjoying their food.  So when we encounter situations like the ones I have mentioned, I think that it is very important to give the benefit of doubt to the person.  Throughout all of the videos we watch from Brother Ivers, he mentions over and over again that we need to pay attention to what is going on around us so that we will know what is considered good or bad manners.